deliriouslove1970. The life & times of Gary and Denise Flanders. (Free and worth every penny. If you would like to compliment the editor, send to garytheflan@deliriouslove1970.com. If you would like to complain, call your mother.)

I seldom offer advice

Unless it is requested

But this is expert advice, Proven, well-tested,

Based on firsthand knowledge, Not something I picked up in college.

Say “please” and “thank you,” Mind your p’s and q’s. Don’t waste money on bad food But never buy cheap shoes.

A stitch in time saves nine; Pride goeth before a fall. On the other hand, don’t put yourself down. Don’t slouch, walk tall.

It’s usually simpler to tell the truth; Time brings all things to light. On the other hand, people love stories If it’s fiction, make it fit tight.

This too shall pass; Life is not fair. Don’t chew with your mouth open And always wear clean underwear.

And no matter how life goes, One thing is true and you know it: Don’t pick your nose. Pull out a hanky and blow it.

Garrison Keillor